The Best of Tim Conway

Get your day going with a smile :)

If your short on time, go to the 5 minute mark.

click picture to read a great article about Tim Conway growing up.

Pie to Die For

My mom always told me that making pie crust is tricky.  She said that you should never work the dough too long or it will be tough and chewy.  You should always try for a light, flaky crust.  I don't make pie very often because it's a lot of work, but I do know what to watch for in a good crust.  This knowledge really came in handy when the neighbors, Tom and Wendy (names changed for their protection)  invited me and my husband over for homemade pie.  Wendy has the physique of a fabulous cook, and the pie was evidence of her skill.  I complemented her on her wonderful crust.  She said that the secret to great crust was to use lard.  She also explained that it is really hard to find lard in the stores anymore.  

A few days later, I was out grocery shopping and saw a stock pile of lard in the refrigerated section.  I made a mental note to tell Wendy where she could get lard for her pies. 

The next time I saw her was at a formal church dinner.  We, the neighbors and two other couples, were all dressed up and seated around an elegant table.  Then I remembered - I had to share my discovery.  I spoke across the table to Wendy and said, "Wendy, I saw some lard and thought of you!"  Shock and disbelief was on all the faces and there was nothing I could say to recover from my ill worded complement.  

The Cross Walk

Today, I was coming home after dropping my daughter off at the High School.  I stopped at the cross walk to let two teen boys go across the street. The red-head did a thank you wave to me as he went across, even in the presence of his friend.  It made me smile.  Ok, maybe my daughter can go out with that kid--a, when she's older.

What Did You Say?

The What Did You Say? game

4-12 players.  Ages 8 +

Object:  Match answers with players to a group question.  The more answers you get right, the more points you get and everyone likes to be a winner.

Supplies:  Paper (¼ sheet typing paper is great), pencil and some kind of marker for each person.  e.g. a set of dice, playing cards, toothpicks, game pieces, small wad of paper.  It can be anything to identify that your answer has already been guessed.  (This part is optional if you are playing with a group of sharp memory geniuses.)

The game:  Sitting around a table, players will choose a leader to start the game and decide which direction to rotate turns.  The leader will think up a question.  An open ended question is best, one where the answers will be varied and not yes or no. The leader will ask the question to the group.  Each person will write their answer to the question on their paper and hand it face down to the leader.  Once all the papers have been turned in, the leader will restate the question, then read through the answers.  Whoever is next to the leader in the direction of rotation will start by guessing who gave which answer.  If they guess right, the leader will hand them the paper with the correct answer written on it, (players count up papers for points scored at the end of the round) and keep guessing until they guess wrong.  The player who's answer was guessed, will place a marker in front of him (optional).  If they guess wrong, their turn ends and the next person gets to try.  Players continue guessing in turn until all answers have been guessed.  The leader does not take a turn guessing and can re-read the answers as requested.

Choosing the next leader:  Who ever scores the most points in a round is the leader for the next round. (Variation:  Everyone takes a turn being the leader, using the same rotation as for guessing.)

Next round:  Redistribute papers. Cross out previous answer and start again.

Sample questions to get you started:

What would you never want to find under your pillow?

What embarrassing experience have you had?

What would you say to the President of the United States?

What is the worst vacation you've ever been on?

What would you never want to find in the trunk of your car? Under your pillow? In your ice cream?

What would you yell after jumping out of a plane, when you realized you don't have your parachute?

What would you never wear to the beach?

What is something you wish you didn't say?

Where is your happiest place on earth?
Where would you not like to wake up?
If road kill was for dinner, what critter would you prefer?
Where is the worst play to be put for "Time Out"?
What is your best hiccup cure?
What would you want engraved on your tombstone? 
What famous person would you like to meet and what would you say to them?

When were you the hungriest?

What makes your hair stand on end?
How would you back out (back pedal/recover) after saying; 

• "You remind me of Lard?" Or
• "When is your baby due?' Only to find out they are not expecting a baby. or 
• any other awkward thing you could let fly.

Caution: I should have mentioned that you will need a box of tissues, because I have seen grown men laugh till they cry during this game.  It's scary.

Frosty Morning

It was a beautiful frosted morning. Every twig on every weed had crystals.  It was a fantastic sight. It would be humanly impossible to do in a life time what nature did in a few hours.  The whole valley was frosted.  All you can really do is stop long enough to be amazed.

Skunk-in-the-headlights

Adventures in skunk extraction. Just a little bit of country living.

 (Skunk art by Shon Henderson)

Skunk-in-the-headlights

The dog had a strange odor. It had to be skunk. A general skunk smell seemed to encompass our house. A few days later we discovered the source.  A half grown skunk had fallen in the window well. No doubt with the help of the dog, since the odor's epicenter traveled wherever she did.  Our first idea for removing the critter was a 2 X 4 propped in the hole.  The hope was that the skunk would crawl out on it.  The poor stinky thing could have been afraid or too weak from several days without food, or maybe skunks don't climb, but it didn't take advantage of the board to freedom.  So next, my husband tied a rope to a bucket handle, lowered it into the window well and tipped it on its side. The skunk scampered right into its new surprise shelter.  Seizing the day, my husband excitedly began hoisting the bucket up and out.  The skunk in its panic, unleashed all remaining reserves, spraying the bucket, the window, the rope, the husband.  Once the bucket was on the grass, the skunk spilled out and dashed the length of the backyard, zipped around the house and fell in the other window well.

The Salt Shaker Game

The Salt Shaker Game    Great for all ages.  Can be played most anywhere, but probably not during church. This game is for big groups 10 +

The Salt Shaker Game   You'll need a coin (a quarter or bigger is best) and a salt shaker (preferably not glass. Any object that is easy to grab will do).

Object: be the first team to grab the salt shaker, and make a complete rotation, as team players advance one spot each time their team is first to grab the salt shaker.

Start with two even numbered teams sitting opposite each other. Each team forms a row and holds hands.  You also need another person to be the coin flipper.  Teams sit on each side of a picnic table or criss-cross apple sauce on the floor (unless grandpa is playing, he may not be able to get back up).  Teammates close their eyes - all except the 1st person of each team sitting at the head of the table.  They will watch for "heads" during the coin toss.  Once the coin flipping starts and a "heads" is spotted, the players will squeeze the hand they are holding and send a message in a chain reaction down the line to the last person, who will then open their eyes and grab the salt shaker before the other team.  The person who has the most firm hold of the shaker gets to advance to the head of the line and will then watch the coin toss. Everyone else slides down on spot. Once a team has won enough times to get each person rotated completely around and back to their original position, they win.  If a team sends a false signal and grabs the shaker, that team will rotate backwards.

One last thing to know.  The two people who are in the spot to grab the shaker must either keep their free hand resting on their knee or on the edge of the table until the signal (squeeze) is felt. In the event of a draw, just flip the coin again - a do over.  The coin toss is happening on one end of the line and salt shaker on the other, with the shaker positioned as fairly between the two end grabbers as possible. 

I hope you have as much fun as we have.  Who thought grabbing a salt shaker could get so competitive? 

Click on the Group Games tab for more fun games
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